O man! What has seduced you from your Lord most beneficent? Him Who created you, fashioned you in due proportion, and gave you a just bias. In whatever form He willed, He put you together.
(Surat al-Infitar, 6-
Firstly: That the obligation of obedience to the parents and their rights is an obligation laid down by Allaah ta'aalaa in His Book and upon the tongue of His Messenger sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), that is the basis for it - nothing else i.e. it is an obligation because Allaah ta'aalaa made it such. Allaah ta'aalaa says:
Thy Lord hath decread that ye worshlp none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. (1)
Secondly: In the Aayahs where Allaah ta'aalaa orders good treatment of parents, He precedes it with the order to worship Him alone - He says:
" Worship none but Allaah; Treat with kindness your parents..... "(2)
and He says:
Serve Allaah, and join not any partners w{th Him; Be good to parents......" (3)
and He says:
" join not anything as equal with Him; Be good to parents...... "(4)
"And He has enjoined on man (to be good) to his parents: travail upon travail did his mother bear him, and in years twain was his weaning; (Hear the Command), 'Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: to Me is (thy final) goal. " (5)
Thirdly: Obedience to parents just like obedience to those in authority is subservient to obedience to Allaah and His Megsenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam). Therefore if obedience to parents clashes with obedience to Allaah and His Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) then parents must be disobeyed on that point.
Alee (radhiAllaahu 'anhu) reports that the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said:
'There is no obedience to anyone in disobedience to Allah, verily obedience is in that which is correct '(6)
And as regards obedience to the Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), then the Aayahs obligating that are many, and Allaah ta'aalaa says:
"We sent not an Apostle, but to be obeyed, in accordance with the Will of Allaah." (7)
And Abu Hurayrah (radhiAllaahu 'anhu) reports that Allah's Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam), said :
"He who obeys me has obeyed Allah and he who disobeys me has disobeyed Allah, and he who obeys the Ameer has obeyed me and he who disobeys the Ameer has disobeyed me .(
In tafseer of Aayah 83 of Sooratul-Baqarah, Ibn Katheer says."Allaah the Blessed and Most High, reminds Banee Israaeel of these orders which He gave them and took their covenant upon and that they had turned away from that, all of it, knowingly and deliberately - while remembering it - so He ordered them to worship Him alone and not to associate anything with Him, and He ordered that for all of the creation and that is the reason why He created them...And that is the highest and greatest of the rights of Allaah the Blessed and Most High - that He alone should be worshipped, and then after that comes the rights of the creation, and the most important of these is the right of the parents and therefore He joins the two." So anything which Allaah or His Messenger (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) have obligated must be carried out and if the parents try to prevent that then they must be disobeyed in that.
Ibn Taimiyyah (raaimahullaah) says Majmoo al-Fataawaa, 14/339-340):
"And part of giving thanks for the good that someone does is the thanks due to the parents and others who do good to you, since 'He who does not thank the people does not thank Allaah.' , however - the right of no person, nor his favours can ever reach the level that they be thanked with the disobedience to Allaah, or that be obeyed in disobedience to Allaah - since Allaah is the Qne who sends down all the great blessings, which none of the creation are able to . And even favours done by any of the creation are from Him also, as He says:And ye have no good thing but it is from Allaah (9) and He says: And He has subjected to you, as from Him, all that is in the heavens and on earth. [l0]
And no one is able to recompense obedience, disobedience and Kufr but Him . Therefore it is not possible that anyone be obeyed in disobedience to the Creator as He says:
"We have enJoined on man kindness to parents: but if They (either of them) strive (to force) thee to Join with Me anything of which thou hast no knowledge. obey Them not.Ye have (all) to return to Me, and I will tell You ~the truth) of all that ye did."(11)
"Show gratitude to Me and to thy parents: To me is (thy final) Goal.But if they strive to make thee Join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not; Yet bear them company in this llfe with Justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to Me: In the end the return of you all is to Me. "[12]
And the Messenger ~sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said:
"The Muslim must hear and obey in hard and easy things and what he likes and dislikes, as long as he is not ordered with disobedience and if he is ordered with disobedience then there is no hearing snd no obeying. "
And it occurs in al-Bukhaaree and Muslim that he (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said:
"Verily obedience is in that which is correct ."
and he (sallallaahu lalaihi wa sallam) said:
"He who orders you with disobedience to Allaah - then disobey him."
and he (sallallaahu 'alaihi wa sallam) said:
"There is no obedience to any creature in disobedience to the Creator."
In tafseer of Aayah 83 of Sooratul-Baqarah, al-Baghawee says: " That is: We enjolned good conduct and kindness to them and obeying those commands of theirs which do not go against the commands of Allaah ta'aalaa . "
And al-Qurtubee says in tafseer of Aayah 23 of Sooratul- Israa:" Disobedience to them is disobeying their lawful wishes, just as goodness to them is agreeing to their lawful wishes - as long as that does not involve disobedience to Allaah). "
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Footnotes
1 Soorah al-Israa (17):23
2 Soorah al-Baqarah (2):83
3 Soorah an-Nisaa (4):36
4 Soorah An'aam (6):151
5 Soorah Luqmann (31):14
6 Collected by al-Bukhaaree,Muslim and an-Nasaa'ee 'as- Saheehah of al-Albaanee no.181
7 Soorah an-Nisaa (4):64
8 Collected by al-Bukhaaree,Muslim,an-Nasaa'ee and Ibn Maajah 'al-Irwaa of al-Albaanee no 394
9 Soorah an-Nahl (16) :53
10 Sooratul -Jaathiyah ( 45 ): 13
11 Sooratul- Ankaboot ( 29 ): 8
12 Soorah Luqmaan (31)
